Remember those super slingshots that they have at scary carnivals and along every tourist-trap-strip in North America? Well, this is your version of that slingshot — on your patio!
Straight from the planet Zarnack is the “Green Machine Slingshot 3000 (Patio Edition)”. Although this chair doesn’t actually shoot you into the air to terrifying heights and at a speed similar to launching a space shuttle, it does look like it could. Frankly, isn’t that enough?
Not to be outdone, the “Green Machine” is only produced in green. Why? So it will stand out, of course! The Zarnackian people wanted to make sure that their trademark green skin was represented in their revolutionary chair that should scare you (but it merely repulses you.)
Don’t forget, on planet Zarnack everything is backwards. Beautiful here is ugly there and vice-versa. So, while you might be tempted to slop around in this chair, be forewarned: You WILL attract an alien presence. We suggest ladies in bikinis (so as to repel the aliens as they monitor their patio furniture.)
Best of luck to you in your new “Green Machine 3000” — You’re going to need it!
by Patton H
